| Anastacia Lauren Banks, my sister, died at 3:41 A.M. December 25th, 2004. This was the day my life took a plunge for the worst. As I've been coming out of it, I realize that i'll never truly and fully recover from this event. I can try to live my life normally, but it's not happening.
I know she can't read this, or see me cry, but I just hope she's resting in peace. As i'm tearing up writing just a simple entry, I realize what I major part of my life my sister was. When I needed someone to give me advice, she was the one I ran to. When I had boy troubles, I sat with her at 2 AM pigging out over a bag of Oreos, and fighting over who would get up to get more milk. When I ran out of lipstick the night of our 8th grade farewell dance at Highwood, she drove from home to give me a tube. When I went to a party and my drunk date ran off with some other girl, and I didn't have a ride home, she came and picked me up. When my dad and mom fought in the middle of the night, and she kicked my dad out, she was the one who went and brought him home a couple of hours later. She was one amazing person. She, as we all do, had many faults, but such an amazing person didn't deserve to die so early in life.
A lot of the time, I wish it had been me, rather than her, in the car last Christmas, getting hit by a large SUV going 90 Miles per Hour. I wish it had been me in the emergency room, gasping for breath the last 10 minutes of my life, spitting up blood when i exhaled. I wish it had been me my mother stood holding with tears streaming down her face, as my limp body lay on a hospital bed, lifeless. I wish it had been lying in that casket, while my parents cried hysterically, and my mother fainting. I wish it had been me, lying in the casket, when my sister broke down into her best friend's shoulder, and cried for three hours straight. and I wish it had been me, who's room was never entered until 10 months after I died. I wish it was me, who's body was put to rest, not hers.
Ana, I loved you, and god took you away from me. I hope he took you to a better place. To everyone, this is for my sister. The one who kept me strong. The one who wiped away my tears. My guardian angel. My sister, Anastacia Lauren Banks. She was amazing, and it's time to let go. Now if only my heart would stop moving closer, and turn the other cheek. I don't think i'll ever be able to get over her death. At 3:41 this morning, I won't be at Northside Hospital in Alpharetta, GA where Ana died. I'll be somewhere over the Atlantic, going towards London. However, at 3:41 AM, I will put on Ana's locket, that she gave to me, with a picture of my family in it. Not my current family.. . My wonderfully normal family, of before. My mom, my dad, Ana, and myself.
Ana, sis, i miss you. . and you'll always be in my heart. ALWAYS. . . and you'll be in my tears, and my thoughts. I'll never forget the amazing person you were, and neither will anyone else. My sister is gone, but her memory is etched in my heart forever.
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in
And your footsteps will always fall here
Along our greenest hills
Your candle's burned out long before
Your spirit never will
|
. . you're my rock, and the glue in my life. . i love you so much, and you are one of the best people someone could have in their lives, and i'm truly thankful you're in mine. . 
